A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Lambeau Field, until he noticed an empty seat down in front. He went down and asked the guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was. The guy said, "Yes, that's my wife's seat. We have never missed a game since the Lombardi days, but now my wife is dead." The fan offered his sympathy and said it was really too bad he couldn't find some relative to give the ticket to so they could enjoy the game together... "Oh no," the guy said, "they're all at the funeral."
Vampire 1: "I once went so long without fresh blood that I nearly died." Vampire 2: "How awful!" Vampire 1: "Yes. Fortunately, I found some in the neck of time." - zobacz
What did the little kid do with the dead battery? He buried it. - zobacz
What lies on the ground 100 feet up in the air and smells? A dead centipede. - zobacz
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a DREADFUL fight!" "Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!" "I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what am I going to do with the BODY?" - zobacz
Waiter, waiter! There's a dead fly in my soup. Oh no! Who's going to look after his family? - zobacz